Emotional regulation strategies: when emotion overwhelms

Emotional regulation is at the heart of our psychological and physical well-being, influencing the way we react to everyday events and our overall health. Although the term is often associated with psychotherapy or personal development, it applies to each and every one of us: we use emotional regulation strategies, whether conscious or unconscious, to manage a variety of situations. In healthcare contexts, particularly massage therapy, understanding the main strategies of emotional regulation can offer valuable keys to supporting people holistically. This article explores the most common strategies, their effects and their potential impact.

What is emotional regulation?

Emotional regulation encompasses all the methods we use to influence the intensity, duration or nature of our emotions. It can include spontaneous techniques, such as breathing deeply to calm anxiety, or more subtle processes, such as focusing on the positive aspects of a situation. Some strategies are considered more constructive than others; they help reduce stress and improve well-being, while others, especially when they become habits, can perpetuate difficult emotional states.

Here are the eight main emotional regulation strategies found in individuals, and the ways in which they manifest themselves on a daily basis (Pavani & Guiller, 2024).

The eight emotional regulation strategies

1. Disengagement

Disengagement is an avoidance strategy whereby a person moves away from situations or interactions that could generate uncomfortable emotions. For example, someone may avoid discussing a sensitive topic to avoid feeling overwhelmed. In the long term, this strategy can prevent true resolution of difficulties, as it doesn’t allow the emotions to be confronted or solutions to be found.

2. Distraction

Distraction consists in diverting attention from the unpleasant emotion to something else. For example, an angry person might immerse himself in an intense activity to forget his frustration. There are two types of distraction: positive active distraction, which consists in thinking about something positive, and passive distraction, which replaces the event to be avoided with another task (cleaning, watching TV…). Although distraction can bring temporary relief, it does not resolve the underlying causes of the emotion. However, it is particularly effective when you have to wait for the course of events to change of its own accord.

3. Delete

Emotional suppression is the refusal or control of emotional feelings, and takes two forms. The first, suppression of emotional expression, involves masking one’s emotions from others, while remaining aware of them. The second, suppression of emotional experience, aims to repress the feeling itself, by refusing to acknowledge a given emotion.

These strategies are often used to express socially adapted emotions (e.g., not showing joy when grieving) or to avoid emotions perceived as inappropriate. They are effective in temporarily avoiding undesirable feelings, but in the long term, they can cause increased discomfort. So it’s important to recognize the motivations behind this suppression and, if possible, to seek to understand our repressed emotions.

4. Focus on the Negative

This strategy involves focusing on the negative aspects of a situation. A person adopting this strategy may spend a lot of time judging responsibility (blaming themselves or others), focusing on negative emotions or thinking about the causes, consequences or reasons for the situation. This can lead to a better understanding of certain situations, or to a pessimistic interpretation of new situations. Focusing on the negative in a passive way, i.e. without drawing conclusions about the position to adopt, can lead to ruminations and accentuate states of anxiety and sadness, limiting the individual’s ability to perceive moments of well-being.

5. Acceptance

Acceptance means acknowledging your emotions without judgment. It means welcoming our feelings – pleasant or unpleasant – without immediately seeking to change them. Research shows that emotional acceptance is beneficial to mental well-being, as it enables us to better understand and integrate our reactions. It is a valuable skill in support contexts, enabling people to experience their emotions in a balanced way. Situational acceptance, which can take the form of resignation, means accepting the reality of undesired situations, and reducing our ideals to match what exists. It’s a particularly effective strategy when it’s impossible to change the situation (e.g. aging) or when we can’t feel other emotions associated with it.

6. Reassessment

Reassessment involves modifying one’s perception of a situation to lessen its emotional impact. There are several ways of doing this: for example, a person who has just failed an interview can :

• Positive re-evaluation : Choose to see this as an opportunity to better prepare for the next time (identify positive aspects and learnings).
• Detachment: Adopt the point of view of the recruiter who has processed a hundred applications (see the situation through the eyes of someone detached from our experience of the situation).
• Relativize: tell yourself that this interview is far less important than other aspects of your life, such as your health (reduce the importance of the situation you’re facing).

This strategy is often associated with a more positive state of mind, and promotes well-being by allowing us to adopt a more constructive outlook in the face of challenges. However, if you are in a position to act on the situation, the following strategy will be more appropriate.

7. Problem solving

Problem solving involves thinking about behavior and implementing it to change or improve a situation. For example, a person stressed by a work deadline can organize his or her schedule to reduce the pressure. This strategy is useful for managing situations proactively, and is particularly effective. However, it’s important to note that it requires the ability to accurately assess how much control you can exert over a situation. If you mistakenly think you can control the situation, the main risk is exhaustion and a sense of failure.

8. Looking for Social Support

Seeking social support consists in sharing one’s emotions and asking for help or advice in dealing with difficult emotional situations. It takes two forms: instrumental support (asking for practical advice) and emotional support (seeking emotional comfort). Although the effectiveness of this strategy is debated, due to the difficulty of explaining the precise mechanisms involved, it remains a valuable approach in many support contexts, such as discussion groups or psychotherapy. It enhances well-being by promoting social interaction, mutual support and a sense of belonging. The only difficulty may be confronting someone providing instrumental support when you’re looking for emotional support. Also, it can be useful to mention our expectations if we feel there’s a gap between the need and the support provided.

Effectiveness of regulation strategies

Studies have shown that strategies that intervene early in the emotional process by changing perception are more effective than strategies that intervene later. For example, reappraisal is often more effective than suppression: it reduces emotional intensity and behavioral expression, without affecting memory. Suppression, on the other hand, only reduces outward expression, without reducing emotional experience, while damaging memory and increasing physiological reactions in the people who use it, as well as in their social partners. Thus, reappraisal is a form of regulation to be favored over suppression (Gross, 2002).

Conclusion

A better understanding of these strategies enables professionals, including massage therapists, to perceive the ways in which each person regulates his or her emotions. For example, signs of suppression or distraction when they are systematic may indicate emotional blockages or a more delicate need for emotional support. Similarly, spotting tendencies to re-evaluate or seek support can help build an environment conducive to openness and trust.

Emotional regulation strategies, although adopted spontaneously, can become deep-rooted coping mechanisms and have a lasting effect on people’s well-being. Understanding them enables us to offer respectful, personalized support, thus contributing to people’s overall well-being.

To remember:

• Emotional regulation encompasses all strategies for managing emotions, whether positive or negative.
• Some strategies (acceptance, reappraisal) are associated with lasting well-being, while others (avoidance, rumination) are only useful in the short term.
• In massage therapy, knowledge of regulation strategies enables you to adapt your emotional support for more complete care.
• Understanding these strategies helps practitioners to offer a safe space in which to let go.

Sources :

Gross, J. J. (2002). Emotion regulation: Affective, cognitive, and social consequences. Psychophysiology, 39(3), 281-291. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0048577201393198