The basics of attachment | from infancy to adult relationships

When considering a career in massage therapy, it’s essential to understand certain psychological concepts, such as attachment. Indeed, attachment styles have a profound influence on the emotional and relational behaviours of individuals, both in their personal lives and in interactions with a therapist.

Basic needs and attachment theory

At birth, infants are unable to survive on their own, and need someone to take care of them. The concept of attachment has its roots in the child’s fundamental need for security and connection. John Bowlby, a pioneer of attachment theory, demonstrated that children naturally seek the proximity of a figure who reassures them, particularly in moments of stress or fear. It is this figure that makes them feel safe and encourages them to explore their environment. These early relationships play a central role in the development of their perceptions of the world, of others and of themselves, perceptions which, as they grow older, translate into attachment styles. These early relationships shape their perceptions of the world, of others and of themselves, which, as they grow into adulthood, are expressed in attachment styles.

Attachment styles are based on five essential needs:

• Attachment security: The need for benevolent, stable figures who provide support in the face of difficulties.
• Autonomy, competence, identity: Encourage children to explore in order to strengthen their identity and self-confidence.
• Freedom to express needs and emotions: Provide a supportive environment for the child’s emotional expression.
• Spontaneity and play: Give children the space to freely express their thoughts and desires.
• Limits and self-control: Learning to respect the rules and needs of others for harmonious social integration.

Attachment styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant and Disorganized

There are four main attachment styles, observed in children according to their basic needs, each influencing relationships and emotional behaviour throughout their lives:

1. Secure attachment: This style develops when the child benefits from the stable, benevolent presence of a caregiver. As a child, he learns that he can explore the world while having a secure base to return to. As adults, they tend to build trusting relationships and express their emotions with ease.
2. Anxious attachment: This occurs when caregiver support is inconsistent or unpredictable. The child develops a fear of abandonment and constantly seeks attention. In adulthood, this anxiety can manifest itself in a need for approval and an excessive fear of losing loved ones.
3. Avoidant attachment: Children who receive few responses to their emotional needs learn to protect themselves by minimizing their own need for attention and comfort. As adults, they may become distant and have difficulty making emotional commitments, fearing dependence on others.
4. Disorganized attachment: In the event of confused, even threatening responses from the caregiver, the child develops a disorganized attachment style, a source of emotional confusion. In adulthood, this type of attachment can lead to conflictual behavior or intense but unstable relationships.

Impact of attachment styles on behavior and adulthood

Attachment styles influence not only emotional relationships, but also behaviors such as trust, emotional regulation, and even relationships with the body. For example, secure attachments promote healthy emotional management and self-esteem, while anxious or avoidant attachments can lead to difficulties in calming down or establishing trusting relationships.

The importance of understanding attachment styles in the therapeutic relationship

In the context of massage therapy, the therapist may be confronted with clients who, because of their attachment style, react in specific ways to physical or emotional interactions. An anxiously attached client may seek more assurance and reassurance in the therapeutic relationship, while an avoidant client may be more distant and need more time to feel confident.

Knowledge of attachment styles enables therapists to adapt to their clients’ emotional needs. By creating a safe space, the therapist fosters relaxation and trust, which is crucial in any bodywork approach. By understanding that certain behaviours may stem from deep-rooted attachment needs, it is possible to establish a caring and reassuring professional relationship.

Conclusion

Attachment styles, formed in childhood, have a profound influence on people’s relational and emotional lives. By integrating this knowledge into their approach, future massage therapists can create an environment conducive to well-being and help their clients open up to themselves, thus promoting more enriching and effective body therapy.

To remember:

• Children need stable relationships to feel secure and explore.
• Four styles influence the management of emotions and relationships – secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized.
• These styles shape the adult’s future relationships and emotional well-being.

Source :

• Bretherton, I. (1992). The origins of attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Developmental Psychology, 28(5), 759-775. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.28.5.759